You had a simple job, Mr patient. All you had to do was follow the script. I am highly trained and very experienced in the interventions you needed. I have done countless thousands of chest compressions, delivered many score of shocks and can interpret dozens of heart rhythms.
You collapsed to the ground.
I specialize in that.
You weren’t breathing.
I carry tools to help oxygen get back into your lungs.
All you had to do was play along.
Our training has included intubation during compression for years and we are quite proficient. The IV fluid meant to flow into your vein and into your heart can carry chemicals they give me to get your heart beating again.
The state of the art monitor I carry can let me see every aspect of your heart’s activity and deliver therapy accordingly.
Our tools can determine your oxygen saturation, blood pressure, mean arterial pressure and many, many other metrics.
All ready for you in case you need it.
You didn’t need it. You aren’t playing by the old rules, are you Mr patient?
You collapsed in a crowded public space.
You hit the ground at the feet of two persons trained in bystander CPR.
They began compressions almost immediately, which drew the attention of a nearby Police officer.
The Police officer pulled the Public Access AED not 30 feet away and attached the pads.
By the time the dispatcher sent the call out you had already been defibrillated and the second round of CPR was just starting. By the time I made it to the far side of the bay to respond the same dispatcher told me you were awake.
And you were.
Joking, telling me your ribs hurt because someone just did CPR on you, I tried to apply all the tools I had, all the training, education and experience…but you needed none of it.
What used to be a shot in the dark is turning into people walking out of the ED the next day.
That’s where I saw you, climbing into a car, telling me all about how cool it was to die and come back.
They didn’t prepare me for that. Score another one for the good guys…the bystanders.