Homepage / A Musical Interlude / CISD with OK GO part VI
Happy 2018, Y’all! CHP Officer Andrew Camilleri’s Family on the first day back at school Patient – Defined. Wrong, but defined. Merry Christmas from #TCS! Three Discipline Sponsors – Kosher or Corruption? Has Video Killed the Radio Star?! Dispatch centers tracking the wrong things? Does your confidence exceed your abilities around the homestead? This post is about fentanyl so you shouldn’t read it, you’ll OD Off-duty: Intervene or Be a Witness? Mass Shootings in a Small Town: What are Your Resources? #TapTapTime: The Latest Trending Topic Police Responsible for Ambulance Bills on College Campus? The Spooktacular Episode “I’m out of ideas” Advanced Airway Seminar HM on Medic 2 Medic Podcast Respond to the Rollover – Tales from the Interwebs Hazards we can most certainly remove Witty Banter with the Unaware – Volume 3324 the Crossover Ep 125 – Who Gives Two Sh*ts Why Giving Two Shits About a Patient is Not a Bad Thing the Crossover Episode 122 – Annual Kilted Show! Things keep getting worse for Cop who likes arresting Nurses My Beautiful Blue Eyes The Seizure Patient 500 – An EMS Race Crossover Podcast – Ep 116 – That’s Not Why we Have Cameras, Gary …for the head injury, PD on scene Crossover Podcast ep 113 – Middletown Ohio or Deathville USA? the Crossover Ep 112 – Are you a good hair boss or a bad hair boss? Stop Responding for Overdoses? Sign Me Up! Yup. Still Barfing I Heard You, She Heard You, the Baby Heard You Is there a Doctor on board? the Crossover Podcast – Ep 111 – Paramedic Perv Reporter Unclear of Aircraft EMS Operations The new rigs are here! the Crossover Show – Ep 110 – Do You Poop Where You Eat? What to do for an allergic reaction…or not The Last Shift of the Lost Cause The Crossover Show – ep 109 – Is that Cocaine or Anthrax? How to respond when your spouse tells you to be safe at work Always, In Service – EMS Week 2017 Lost Cause gets cocky FDIC 2017 – Structural Response to Aviation Incidents: Engine Company Operations I Got Lost Going to a Call – So I made sure everyone knew about it Crossover Podcast Ep 102 Mrs Happy Medic and Mike the Cop Arby’s Roast Beef Ad angers EMTs, not sure why Strippers and Cocaine watch – 2017 Seizures! Seizures Everywhere! Nothing is certain except death and taxes. I can help you with both What to do when the powers that be – just can’t. Episode 99 the Crossover Ep 98 – Off Duty and Fancy Free NO is Never Easy to Hear Ohio Cop vs Ambulance Crew Member on Video – Crossover Show Investigates! An MCI With Wings: Aviation Incidents EMS Today 2017 First in Ambulance MCI at EMS Today 2017 Crossover Show Learns How to Take a Joke To Haul or Not to Haul – Should the Complexity of a Refusal Influence Transport? Crossover Show – Ep 91 – ACLU cameras Tip of the Helmet – Bj’s Brewhouse the Crossover Show – Episode Eighty Eight Eminence Based Medicine If You Don’t Give Him Insulin He’s Going to Die Lost Cause Strikes Again the Crossover Podcast – Ep 85 – Florida Cry Baby “I Can’t Breathe!” you keep using those words… the Crossover Show – 84 – TN Bus Crash Happy 150th Anniversary San Francisco Fire Department! Thank You For Your Service? A Complete Secondary Assessment the Crossover Episode 81 – Let’s Talk Politics! Aircraft skids off runway, rescue task force ill equipped Crossover Show – Ep 79 – Do we need so much active shooter training? How to Ignore Everyone in the Room: Be an Intern Your Meme is Bad and You’re Not One of Us Anymore Goodbye tarps, I never loved you The Crossover Episode 76 – Flashback to the Beginning You found me how? Less CSI, More Columbo EMS Festival Standby – You can’t just park a car there the Crossover Show Ep 72 – Florida EMT photo game A&O vs able to make decisions Kilted to Kick Cancer Cops vs Firemen Writer calls for Medics to risk more in shootings, misses the target What’s with the French? the Crossover – Ep 69 – Twelve Ninety Désolé the Crossover Show – Ep 67 – Traffic Stops and Profiling Actually, Officer, No. It Really isn’t that hard to try When Patients Don’t Play by the Old Rules Letters in the File – Oklaloosa Selfies the Crossover Podcast – Ep 64 – Turning Passion into Retirement Why Pokemon GO is so much like EMS Us Against Us Apathy is worse than absence So Now I’m Back! Changes are a-comin’ The Sounds of Silence I know that feel, Bro

A Musical Interlude

CISD with OK GO part VI

CISD – Critical Incident Stress Debriefing

OK GO – A band


This is another in what I thought was a complete series of dealing with PTSD using the music of OK GO.  For over 4 years I’ve been seeing parts of my recovery in the lyrics of their songs and the images of their accompanying videos.  What started as a 2 song idea has clearly expanded as my recovery does.

We’ve covered the initial reaction – Don’t Ask Me How I Feel Part I, The Invincible stage of recovery Part II, then ask ourselves “WTF is Happening” Part III.

Then we realized the healing process is almost complete in Part IV – This Too Shall Pass.

When we think everything is OK we see the boys on their treadmills and realize Here it Goes Again.  We were done.  Or were we?


Recently OK GO released the video for their song Upside Down and Inside Out, filmed on a zero G training plane.  A number of the lyrics from this song struck chords with me in relationship to my continuing recovery.

“So when you met the new you, were you scared? Were you cold? Were you kind?  So when you met the new you, did someone die inside?”

I was stopped in my tracks by that line, it hit me like, well like the song says immediately following that line and in an aggressive tone, “DON’T STOP! CAN’T STOP! IT’S LIKE A FREIGHT TRAIN!”

Coming out of my injury period and trying to get back my mental footing was a challenge I look back on often when I wonder what we all do, “Am I the best person I can be?”

When I met the new me I did feel like someone died inside.  Was it the old me?  The questioning me?  The scared me?  It wasn’t until almost 2 years after the injury that I came to complete terms with it, or so I thought.  Hearing these lyrics got me thinking about not just trying to move on but dealing with this nagging feeling:  If that had ceiling had never knocked me down, would I be the same person today?

The song goes on to tell us…

“Looks like it’s time to decide.  Are you here? Are you now is this it?  All of those selves that you tried…wasn’t one of them good enough?”

Well, damn guys, here I am again wondering how you can read my thoughts, this line had me confused I admit.  You go on to tell me “Because you’re upside down and inside out and you can feel it. Inside down and upside out and you can feel it. Feel it.”

Right as I contemplated this line, that when things are upside down and inside out, arguably completely messed up and you can feel something good, that must be a good thing, right?  Then we mix it up and create more chaos by telling me I’m inside down and upside out and I can still feel it?  That must be good, right?

Uh oh, here comes the freight train!

All the chaos, all the confusion, all the crap they had going on in this video, and I’m seeing my recovery.  Up is out, in is down and I can’t shake the feeling that I’m supposed to be someone else sometimes, some other person.

Of all the selves that I tried…is this one good enough?



Related posts:

Post a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *